Day 24

hope is something very
dangerously to lose.

can you imagine a person
who doesn't have any hope?
how would he/she live their life?

life is a struggle.
why do we need love?
to make life less struggle.

love=hope

today's painting i used
my one and only Daler-Rowney System 3 tube.



didn't know it smell so sweet.
seriously, i wanted to try and
taste it. to see whether was it
manufactured wrongly. it probably
taste like honey. but wouldn't
want to risk my tongue turnin
blue. don't think i'll ever want
to use it again. it just smells
too good. makes me hungry.
had problem concentrating while
the smell was hypnotizing me.

anyway,
there you go, honey and stars!
this piece wouldn't go wrong, eh?
anyone interested to purchase it?
anyone interested to purchase anything
here?

please?

-chinyew

Day 23

pc had some problem earlier.
panic. was gonna be late.
hit it. unplug it. plug it.
hours of trial in attempt
to relive my pc. all important
files were in there. it fails
me on the time i needed it most.

after hours of trying,
it finally came back alive.

and i never felt happier
to see my desktop load up.

you need to first lose something
in able to see how great it is.
you need to fall inable to feel
the full climax of standing
up again. and again. and again!

the fun part about painting is,
you get to overlay whatever you
don't like that you've drawn.
over and over again. nobody's
gonna scold you. you can do it
time and time again. till you
are finally satisfy.

thats the greatest part of
painting. no pressure of givin
it a wrong/final stroke. or too thick/thin
stroke. you can always overlay it.

life.
we fucked up. we overlay it with
something else. a greater layer.
a more beautiful stroke.
we start again.
not good enough? overlay till
we are satisfy and feel content.

everytime i come across a chinese
painting, i would really spend more
time observing it compared to a
canvas painting.

the beauty and art of chinese
painting's are their single perfect stroke.
no U turn. the most natural
first stroke, is the finalization.
the simplicity. the confidence.
zen.

a stain is a stain.

i love the both forms of painting.
but sadly, in my life, i'm only able
to "overlay" them.

and for today's painting:





till tomorrow.

-chinyew


p/s:beneath these final layers of this 2 paintings,
lies my past. heh. one day in the future, technology
would able the historical art scholars to see beneath them. :)

Day 22

i believe in fate.

and i can't wait for mine.

-chinyew

p/s:i'm tired of so many things.

Day 21

i was born Buddhist.
influenced to believe in Christ.
work most of my life among Muslims.
i studied a little of the Bible, Quran,
Buddhism Sutra, and the indian's Gita.
i go to the church and pray.
visit the nearest temples of holiday trips.
really keen to experience the friday
prayers of the mosque.

i do not know what i believe and not believe.

but i'm 100% sure, that there is a force out
there.

i believe everything has its cause and effect.
my faith is simply believing everything
occur in my life has its reasons why.
for me to SEE.

and i believe its the greedy-evil dictatorship that
takes the innocent lives for their own profits.

i think wars are literally lives thrown away.

i think its not logical that poverty still exist
in this world today, while there are highly-developed
countries spending resources to gain MORE resources
for themselves.

i hate the choices given out to us
to decide which religion is the real religion.

i hate myself of wanting to help the world
yet i'm doin nothing.

i hate the fact that there is an ugly
side in every single one of us.

i feel its difficult to differentiate
the Good force and the Evil force.

and some even say knowledge is evil.

and indeed maybe its true.

or maybe not.

i do not know.

i'm merely a puny arrogant human
who thinks he know alot by reading
a few good books.

and i foresee my future/older self
no longer standing this path,
but blindly living a normal life.

or maybe not.

but the one thing that i'm certain of is,
once you step into the Question,
there is no turning back.

all questions start overlapping each
other. questions that leads to more
questions. answers in the form of
questions.

and ironically, i feel that this
is the answer.

-chinyew

p/s:i really feel that i'm getting
mad.

Day 20

we usually get judge by people.
accuse of being rebels.
accuse of being selfish.
self-obsess ego maniacs.
and especially, highly sensitive,
and emotional.

and sometimes weird too.
rambles too much of theories-philosophy.

and to a certain extend, crazy.

told my friend, that if i ever start
acting really crazy, pls let me know.
cause crazy people will never know
that they're crazy.

and sometimes we hate to mix around.
especially new people. why? because we
don't like to be judge.

we like to cling on to memories.
memories that shape our work.
memories that remind us of our feelings.

expect to be really exciting at times
and really dull-boring at some certain times.
we are never moderate. or predictable.
we'll either turn out very rich or very poor.
we either feed you fat or starve you dead.
never expect for expensive trips.
expect alot of cheap hotels and hitch hiking.
but we'll try and make sure the toilet is clean
just for you.

never get too sensitive of our mood swings.
but be sensitive on our emotions.
most of us has very bad temper.
yet, we try to be as romantic as the movies are.

we'll never forget you.

and finally, there is no we, but you and me.
and i and you. we talk to ourselves most
of the time. like now.

except that its not we but i.

and i'm fucked in the brain.

sometimes. most of the time.

i think.

maybe.

sometimes.

i dedicate today's song to a friend
who everytime i listen to this song, i can't
help to imagined her tiny voice singing it,
in a dark lit room with a white piano in the
middle.

and here are the paintings for today:

Mew-Symmetry

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

Did I really see you, or was it a dream?

In that it was seamless,
Not a trace of wrong.

Words that we have spoken
Little did we know

No bigotry, no tears shed.
Oh, if only...

You tried to be polite,
Thinking you were right,
Only to find that you're unkind.

But ironically,
You will always be
Belle of the ball,
Atleast to me.

I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind,
But I'm not happier than you.

But my words are frail, not
Audible, they do...

Not even convince me.
Perhaps they are untrue.

Truly with you the worst is
Always true, and I gave

You all the benefits,
Of all the doubts I had.

Never hope to be
As benign as me.
Funny how you
Always get through.

But ironically,
You will always be
Belle of the ball,
Atleast to me.

Day 19

whoa. gonna be end of the month
soon.

some artist thoughts:

i love "love". doesn't love make
you do crazy/stupid things.
even selfish things. or subconscious things.
feelings that you thought was, but not was.
yet it was, then it wasn't. then maybe
its not. or perhaps a yes.

love. love. when you are in
the realms of it, you get lost.

lost. lost? who?

for a thing to know that nothing
matters. just some scapes of memories.
soon forgotten.

nothing matters.

nothing really matters.

just a thought.

a very-very tiny thought.

which soon to be forgotten.

to be.

-end of thoughts-

words has limitation if anyone
of you haven't notice. pointless words.
forever? for in the terms of ever.

"i love you forever"?

does it all actually make sense to you?
its like saying "for" for ever..
"foooooooooooooooooooooooorrr......"
and for?

or maybe just..

"i try to love you forever."

now, that's more sincere.

cause nothing is forever.

eventually everything goes to dust.
we all die-fade. love dies.
everything, dies.

never once think that it was
or it'll ever be.

i know, cause this is gonna end soon.

gawd, day 19!!!

and here are the paintings:





forever?

sigh. how i wish it was.

heh.

-chinyew



p/s: its almost painful to realize/know this fact in life.
and it creates fear of where you are even standing right now.
"even empires fall."

Day 18

ahh.. finally, my last mtv i directed
is finished. now, i can breath fully
for the paintings.

was out today to get varnish.
hehehe. my final ingredient!
on my way, i saw a pair of
"cheap" adicolor. bought it.
and planning to paint it.



gonna modify here and there.
will post the pix when i'm done
painting it. don't worry, its not
part of the 40 works. i don't cheat.
if the shoes turns out fine,
think i'm gonna start commissioning
to paint shoes. haha!

anyway, today's painting:



and,



i was pretty tired/stressed up with
presenting my mtv to my ex-boss
and was extremely exhausted due to last
night finishing it.
and i didn't know what to paint.
thank god, my ex-boss like/understand
my style of directing and didn't
complain much about it.
and thank god, while i was havin
a smoke with 2 of my ex-workmates,
we had a conversation that inspired
my today's paintings.

some artist thought:

fuck, what am i gonna paint tomorrow?

-end of thoughts-

fear. fear. fear.

but excited.

yeah!

enjoy the new song. its a little trippy.

bardo pond! bardo pond! bardo pond!

-chinyew

Day 17

its a beautiful scene
seeing 3-4 year old kids
running around the grass
happily while gazing stars.

found a flyer.
there will be a talk for young art makers
from establish artist, gallery owners and
art buyers on the 27th. hooray!
definitely gotto go.

anyway, some artist thought:

i'm fear of the paintings hanging
on my wall.
i feel paranoid that they will
jump out and attack me.
so many new strangers in my room.
they are mine. yet not.
they feel like they have life of
their own.

does the painting shape my post?
or the post shape my painting?
or the haiku shape the paintings?
or my life shape the paintings?
or my life shape the post?
or the haiku shape my life?

am i behaving my age?
am i child-like?
am i living the right dream?

what am i gonna do after
i'm done with the 40 paintings?
anyone gonna buy it?
or forever hang in my wall?

will i able to find a job?
will i ever become a filmmaker?

doin it for the love or doin it for the cater?
balance. got to balance.
work need soul. yet it needs to please.

too many channels. too many shows.
too many titles. too many movies.

too little time.

too many talented people.

too many thoughts.

-end of thoughts-

and for today's painting:



and the dude is still there?



and i thought some merchandise of
the wallpaper series:



any interested investor out there?
or maybe some shoes? pajamas maybe?
or just duplicate them and make them
really into wallpaper. woo.. i can imagine
how cool any walls would look with those
angels and devils flying around hehe.

meanwhile, knock yrself out with these
electronic wallpaper for yr desktop.
just right click on anyone of them,
select "Set as Background". enjoy!






till tomorrow.

-chinyew

Day 16

today is mom's birthday.

for this post, i would like
to dedicate it to all parents
of the world who worked hard just so
that their kids could be artist.

we're sorry if we ever brought
any shame to the family.

and its sad that our future kids could not
afford to be artist like we do, because
i feel that its my generation who
is gonna waste it all.

and special thanks to my grandma
who showed me my first anime, astroboy.
and to my mom for buying me the first
full set of colour pencils.
and those cool dinosaur sticker book.
and supporting some funds on my
past US comic habit/addict.
and dad for the 40k. and not stoppin me
now.

went shopping with mom today.
it feels strange shopping again with a
female lady buyin make-up and cloths.
almost forgotten how it felt.
i'm still amazed how simple little things
could get a lady all excited and happy.

anyway, for the painting of today,
which has no relation to the dedication,
excuse me.



and for tomorrow, the final
wallpaper series!

yeah!

seeya.

-chinyew

Day 15

i wish sometimes i could just stay
in bed. smoke. watch the tv. and eat.
drink. and no worries of the world out
there.

only sometimes. don't lock me down
and curse me to be paralyze and stuff, k..

anyway, it takes me awhile to prepare my
mind and soul to start painting. is not
like i don't have the idea to paint.
i have. is just that the mind/soul is not
ready. you see, its something so hard to explain,
which only some fellow artist i think will
understand.

is like you know where you want to
drive to. and you're just not prepare to
drive yet. is not because of fear.
is not because of doubt.

you are confident of where you wanna go.
just some instinct tells you that its
not time yet. like this morning, i mean
afternoon, when i just woke up, i had
the idea to paint. but, i wasn't ready.
so, i chilled. hang around the house.
drank some coffee infront of the tv.
lunch? nope, skipped it. sometimes.
after a couple of hours of lazing around,
i was ready.

you have to understand that this got
nothing to do with laziness.
chinese sometimes called it feng-shui
or whatever. feng-shui does has its
scientific truth in it, you know.
and sometimes, chinese business man
would find a feng-shui master to get the
best exact date/time to launch their
new business for good luck. and even
marriage too. all date/time must be
determine by the feng-shui master.

now, what if the feng-shui master was
wrong?

don't worry, you only believe what
you want to believe.

anyway, today i feel like givin classes.
i always feel that if i fail to succeed
in the industry, one of my last resort
was to teach. teach anything to kids.

and so, for today's class, i'll be
teaching you kids how to draw ANGELS.

and warning to the sensitive christian
or any other religion who has angels in
their religion, if you find my angel
alittle grim-lookin and offensive to your
religion, please do not let your
kids do this activity and skip this part.
thanks.

What You Need:

- Black Acrylic
- White Acrylic
- Size 000 Brush
- Water

Step 1 - We can have so much fun
- Mix the black and white and get Grey!
- As grey as you like, but i would advise 70% white and 30% black.

Step 2 - There's so much to do - Paint this shape with the Grey you just mixed.

Step 3 - Is just you and me
- Out line the angel with black.
- But leave the wings for later.
- Hair style depends on personal stylize preferences.

Step 4 - We can have so much more
- Dip your brush with a teeny weeny white.
- Then wet your brush with teeny weeny water.
- Slowly circulate your brush onto the angel's stomach, head, hands and legs.

Step 5 - ((Five))((five))i can't remember the freakin song!
- Use pure white and give a little shadow stroke at the left side of the stomach, hands, and legs.(depending on the source of the light, oh, nevermind.)
- Stroke white on the wings. But remain some greys below the stroke.
- Leave the head alone.

Step 6 - uhhmm...six..what rhymes with six...
- My favorite step. Give LIFE to the character.
- Simply just dip two dots at the head. (i mean, not simply dipping it, but just you know, well, you get what i mean.)

Step 7 - oh, i give up.
- Play God and knight yr soldier of angels with the halo. (just kidding.)
- Give the angel its halo with grey.

Step 8 - ....................
- Impress your parents with these cute angels!(that's if you get permission first to paint them. don't tell them i sent you.)

ok seriously, back to you adults.

the painting for today, and yes, you've guess
it:

its really fun to paint something
so small and so many. the experience
feels like a strong concentration which
doesn't require any thinking but just
doin. almost meditation like. it actually
requires so much attention you can hardly
think anything else at all. and it uses
less of yr brain power. almost like
chargin it. so, i do recommend you adults
to try it once in awhile aswell.
its so cheap to get a 1ftx1ft canvas and
black and white paint. its only the small
brush which is abit difficult to find.
and paint anything small which you like.
but if you have no idea, you can always
use my angel. afterall you're helpin me
to promote my art anyway. heh.
but make sure you give me the credit, yah.
but remember, it must be SMALL and MANY.

till then.

-chinyew

p/s: oh, i haven't forgotten about the boy,
he is still there.

Day 14

look.

i know what you are thinking.
usually the simplest thing are the
hardest thing.

like this one. it might look simple
with just a couple of small guys floating
here and there, but, hey, its lot of
effort to paint every single one of
them that small. even the small guys
are at the side of the canvas too
you'll be surprised this piece took
me the longest.



luckily, i had this tiny-0
brush an old friend gave me.
its hard to find such small
tiny brush these days.



anyway, for the point of today:
"patient" is the magic word.
in every little teeny weeny thing we
do in life, we have to be patient
and wait.

wait. wait. wait.

not just simply waiting.
but have to wait in "patient".

i know, its hard. sometimes.

and it takes time to master
the art/skill of patience.
and as we all know, with the busy
crazy competitive world out there,
its pretty difficult.

but 'patiently waiting' is always
better than 'anxiously rushing'.

i think.

i myself is not a very patient
person. i think.

i'm just blurting out stuff from zen books
anyway. me ain't no zen master.
especially not, i repeat, in this crazy-f**ckin-competive-world.

i recommend this book.



very fun read.

:)

cheers to all!



#$bugger@$!%%@#%!!

-chinyew

p/s:i finally got to play Metal Gear 3.
it wasn't as great as i expected it to be.
even after "patiently" waiting for it too long.
i guess sometimes hype does dries things a little.

Day 13

i was at a restaurant yesterday.
it was pack. many tables were
waiting for their food.

and apparently they are known
to be good.

then i thought of this theory.
the theory that could make any
restaurant famous.

start a restaurant business.
get yr relatives and friends to
show up on the first day. make
them wait for the food. eventhough
it takes awhile for you to
prepare. just make them wait.

after awhile, yr restaurant gonna
look like really pack and everybody's
excitingly waiting for the food.

then serve. logically speakin,
if anyone wait for their food that long,
they bound to be really hungry rite?
and when yr hungry, whatever food you eat
gonna taste really good right?

and voila! spread the word!
make sure you keep yr customer waiting.
the trick is not to let them wait
that long, but let them wait.
let the hunger runs up to them.
the longer they wait, the tastier yr
food is.

and visually/psychologically speakin, whoever
passes by yr restaurant, probably gonna
think, "wow, so many people waitin.
the food sure taste good wan. let's go."

the magic word for today is "anticipation."

i wonder does the same trick works "here".



heh.

-chinyew

p/s:the ginger steamed fish does taste really good
though, after waiting an hour for it. heh.

-------------------------------------------------------

guess not.