Day 286:Speeding Life

Life moves so fast.

So many things have changed in the last 5 days:

1. I've went in-house with a Production House that
has helped me to extend my working visa.

2. I've moved out from my place,
and moved back into Uncle's.

Both concurrently happened at the same time!

Imagine how tired it was for me.

Since I gotten my own place,
I've bought so many things.
I came to Jakarta with only a bag,
and now I've 2 bags and 5 boxes of stuff.

Felt like a loser and shameful moving
back to my Uncle's place.

Kept apologizing for troubling him.
He told me that it's okay, that he understands,
and he had went through the same before.

That we are almost like family.

I could almost cry.

We had Guinness, and the next following day,
I started reporting to the production house.

Life is like that;

You'll have your downs,

and learned that it can never be ups all the time.

"It's what you are when you are down or up that defines what you are and will be."

I swore to myself from today onwards,
I'll forever remember those who
had stuck with me during my downs,
and forever grudge to those who had fled.

"I'll remember you when I'm up there."

-chinyew

Day 281: Yay, Malaysia!

I've got an email today from Malaysia stating
that they have approved my 3 months scholarship
at New York Film School!

Yay! Even though my rent is due in 3 days,
and I've no money to pay the rent, and I haven't
got any call back for job, I still feel, YAY!

It feels like the concept of faith in God;
even though the present seems dark,
I know at the end of the tunnel it is bright.

Today is the birthday of a dear old friend who
had passed away 2 years ago. A good friend
who had helped me very much in my career.

I dedicate this post to him, and thank You
God for the blessings.

I'll live strong and continue the fight for
survival.

-chinyew

Day 275: 1 circle

am back. was away for more than a month.
didn't want to go home at first.
thought that i should stay in Jakarta
since i'm running out of funds and needed
a job, thought i should stay during the
holiday-festive season, even though jobs
were low. i wanted to be the 'standby man'.

but synchronicity leaded a call from
Malaysia, telling me that i was short-listed
for the New York film school scholarship
i applied months ago. and i had to go back
for an interview on the 9th of January.

after consideration, i took the earliest
flight back. even though the chances are
slim, but it's New York man. i'm sure
every artist in the world dreams of
visiting New York at least once.

and so i went for the interview.
don't ask me how it turned out,
i thought it was good, wasn't
sure what the committee thought
though, since it's been weeks
i haven't heard from them.

and so i stayed back Malaysia
till Chinese New Year. since
it's only corners away, and
so i stayed.

it was the best trip back.
i was inspired by many events,
even though a little disappointed moments
and heartbreaking scenarios,
but it was filled with awakening-emotional
heart warming moments that was
filled with love from friends and family.

the above was an additional reason
i didn't wanted to come home,
the attachment.

but i dare to say now,
i've not a single regret of
coming back home.
guess i've needed it.

i learned one very important thing in life,
even though that it's a little platitude;

"it is always hard to leave home."


(i even almost miss my flight!)

God knows was it even a subconscious act
of denial wanting to leave.

i phew at seconds of arriving at the
boarding gate before it closes,
paid an enormous fees to the cab
driver for breaking the law of speeding,
and ran like i've never ran before,
a speed record which i would have broken,
if only i wasn't carrying a 20kg load
of luggage.

i sweated like a pig in the plane.
made a new indonesian friend who was
sitting next to me and i guarantee
that he had felt my heat and sweat,
which i swear at least a drop of it
have landed onto his arm that
was resting on the arm-rest.

we talked about my escapade to jakarta,
he told me about his 7 years studying
and working in Germany and Czech Republic,
(fantastic women and booze!).

we talked about his family life and life of being a father.
i shared with him my experience of watching my
good friends with their family and children.

we sigh,
and i said to him, 'it is not easy.'
he replied, 'yes, it isn't.'

i wonder if he had thought that i meant either:

A. that it was not easy BEING a father and raising a kid

or

B. that it was not easy TO OBTAIN a family and a kid.


which ever it is,
i personally feel it's both,

and i begin to learn to love my father and mother
even more.


with this i share with you a song i newly discovered
during my trip back in Malaysia.



i was surprised that it was sang by a fellow Malaysian!

i've been away for almost a year,
and now i discovered that the artscene in Malaysian
have significantly improved and matured,
ALOT!

which is what i would love to talk about tomorrow,

goodnight.

-chinyew

home

watching/listening to this again and again
makes me feel that i've not done enough in my life,
there are places i should be going.

the potential is so big!

the world is so big.

wait for me.

wait for me.





-chinyew

As human beings we all make mistakes. We sin. But, people who are bad make a lifelong, regular habit out of it and have very little, if any, sense of remorse. Actually, they rather enjoy it. There's a sense of autonomy, self-determination, and blazing one's own path that seems to thrive in a person who recognizes no rules but his/her own and no authority other than the desires of his/her own heart.

i found this article when I was googling for 'Is Obama a bad man?'
by reading the above, could you think of anyone that you used
to know? do you feel like one? that's because i'm talking about
you :P

Anyway, here's the entire article:

http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/06/barack_obama_is_a_bad_man.html#ixzz1iesA6DA0

wow, we're at TED.com (not quite :(

Wow, this could have been us up there eh?
Imagine how crazy it would have been,
if there have mentioned us.




anyway, here was my comment for the video
at Ted.com

wow!

2005, i quit my job, rented a room and painted
40 canvases in 30 days via updated daily
on a blog, www.30dayartist.com
since, we had various artists from around
the world participating the same challenge
at the site.

Matt Cutts' 3 minutes video made so much
impact as compared to the blog i've ran
for 5 years (which recently just closed down)
I agree 110% of what he had said, and have
been presenting the same message every where i go.

i'm shocked to have stumbled upon this
presentation and it gave me goose-bumps
knowing that someone else shares the same
views as i have of the 30-days-movement
so passionately. (a thought of that i could have
been the one up there crosses my mind briefly :P)

i was a printing sales guy before i did
the challenge on 2005. since, i've ventured
myself into the art world, published books+
comics, appeared on television+newspaper+etc,
invited for speeches, direct tv shows and
presently directing TV commercials.

my next goal would be to direct my own
feature someday and maybe bring home
an Oscar to my country.

crazy? yeah, that's what 30 days of
devotion to something you believe in
can do to you. it builds your confidence,
forces you to deal with your demons+negative+
laziness, (sometimes) forces good
art out of you, and also make peace
with the bad ones.

Out of the 40 works/paintings, i'm definitely
sure there will be at least 1 masterpiece.

Setting a target of 40 works in that 30 days
also forces you to better time manage your
work as an artist. painting 1 a day is too
comfortable, and I believe sometimes
'comfort' is a distraction to an artist.

additionally, posting on a blog via daily
pressures you to post/work daily just so
you won't be embarrass and disappoint
your viewers. the comment box in the blog
also helps when the audiences shouts
at you for not working, and also encourages
at time.

so-yeah, i 110% agree with what Matt said
and encourages anyone to go and give the
30 days challenge a try.

cheers to all and peace.

"If you come to Indonesia you'll understand why; nobody gives a shit. it is just IS, and not whether what works better or doesn't, it's just 'time'. and the people here have too much of it. so even if you throw them the most awesome-ness treatment for them, is just IT. in a general rule, this applies to almost everything in Indonesia, "more about quantity rather than quality." so don't go waste your time thinking about it rather go spend more time writing stuff you think what works best for you!"

Day 258: merry Xmas

as some of you must have noticed
that 30dayartist hasn't have any
artist since for the longest time.

to those who still revisit this site
religiously. (even i myself am not
clicking on it already.)

as for writing-blogging.

it's been a while.


reason being, my fear of mispelling,
bad grammar, bad typing, etc, etc.

the fear, which this site workships.

the fear of beginning.
the ending.
the result.

we all fear, yet we bravely tell
people that 'we are an artist.'

(even though it's only for the 30 days.)

i've fear to claim myself that since.


too many artist have, i won't say fail,
but have given up and fear.

it's not so much of the fear rather than
the giving up.

never give up.

cause once you do,

it's gone.

it's over.

you've lost it.






i haven't quite.


just taking a break by making money.

now i sell my talent.

that works for people,

not so much for myself these days,

but-what's important is that it serves
a purpose in serving people.

making sure people get what they should
get, the holy-all-holla-crap, the mystic of beauty.

i sell art.


we all sell.

it's the only matter of when your art is not
selling, what's next?


i chose this.
to be here.
to work.
to live.

i found work
and worked.

pays enough.
won't say large,
but liveable.

more liveable then i was back home.

but still home is home.

am good.

hope you all are well too.

i am still here to stay.

whoever still keen of giving this
process a kick, email me.

meanwhile, thank you to all past
30dayartists who had did it.

all big+small single posts from you,
i'm deeply eternity grateful for.

some made it, some fail.

but-so what?

bite me.

cheers and Merry Christmas!

(just in-case i don't see you,
have a happy new year too! :)



p/s: all files from the original site
are backup and in my safe keeping
of several hardisk copies.

i'm finding a way to upload them
for free.



and for those who just jump aboard,
i'll try my best to detail the entire thing
to you along the days.

cheers.

Day 148: Sleep

-chinyew

Day 147: Steady

Work. And guitar.

-chinyew

Day 146: TV

Came home from work and
watched TV.

-chinyew

Day 145: Cut reel

Spent the entire day at the post house
cutting my new reel.

Got to start spreading it around.

-chinyew

Day 144: Swimming and thinking

No work today. Took a long walk.
Different route that I used to
take. Found some interesting
places.

Came back and took a swim.
Really long swim.

I like the silence in water.

-chinyew

Day 143: Running out of words

What do you write when yr day
becomes a routine? When everything's
the same? Do you stop?

-chinyew

Day 142: August again?

It's August again. Should be making art.
But am not. Maybe just do a sketch or
something? Tried picking up the pencil.
Nothing.

August again. Month of Ramadhan.
I remembered last year vividly
of steamboats and malls.

Miss eating roti jalar.

Went to the post house today.
Was outside while the director
presented the cut to the agency
and client. room was too small
to packed everyone in.

Feel so bored. Like I should be
doin more. i want to feel busy.
i want my mind to only filled
with work.

wish i was numb and heartless.
wish i had less feelings for
anything.

can't believe August is here again.

-chinyew

Day 141: Sitting there just watching

Woke up. Made breakfast. Then had
a run, swim, basketball. The usual.
Am finding as much things to do
alone.

Watched some movies.

Checked out some other kost house.
Worried the coming 3 months i won't
be able to pay the rent. the other
places i found lately are really
dodgy and crappy. and for the price
it's not worth it at all.

the place am living is still the best.

was in the pool and was thinking how
cool if my friend were with me now.

so i messaged everyone. hoping they
would come this august.

till then, it's only me and my cans
of Guinness.

-chinyew

Day 140: Cycle of life

Just watched Harry Porter finale.
Can't believe 10 years just went
like that. a decade.

Started when I was only 20.
Now 30. And finished it watching
in Jakarta. As I walked out the
cinema, I was reflecting what
I was doing a year ago.

Those were one of the happiest
days of my life.

I recalled buying roti jalar
and eating in my car, minutes
before buka puasa at Taman Tun.

ah-fuck.

got to put it behind me now.

-chinyew

Day 139: Pay and Rent

Thus is life,
money in, money out.

Went to the production house today
to get my pay. Came back home,
immediately used half of it and
paid my rent.

i'm lucky even to get a gig
of assisting direct this month.

have been saving on food.
can food and instant noodle.

am lucky sometimes to eat at
production and post houses.

that's what they say,
you always suffer when you're
starting out.

i've been 'starting out' too many
times.

but i guess Jakarta is my last straw.
if this doesn't cut it, i don't
know what will.

meanwhile i'm sustaining well.

come on board, somebody give me a bloody
board! i'll do any spot!

-chinyew

Day 138: Work=Food

Called mom. It was great to hear
her voice. A familiar voice.
Hadn't spoken Cantonese
for a long time.

Had my run. On my way back,
I went to the bagel store and
paid them for yesterday.

Then had my swim.

Went to the post house at late
afternoon. Had my lunch and
dinner there.

Came back and watched more
TV.

TV.

TV.

-chinyew

Day 137: Good restoration

Naturally woke up early. Went back
to sleep directly. Body needs the rest.
Could still feel my legs sore.

Went for a swim. I love the sun
at the pool. Rejoice the very moment
I dive into it. Love how the water
make my body feels. Good recovery.

Took my time in the pool.

Later bought a bagel. Forgot
to pay and walked-off.
Their Thailand ice tea is fantastic.

Watched a couple of episodes
of a HK series. It's been awhile.

Had some time to read.

It feels bloody fantastic to relax
after a previous day of hard work.

Work starts again tomorrow.

-chinyew