Monday, July 31, 2006


as i walk out of the office,
i felt a little terrified of the
comin month, August.

"its a bad time to quit yr job now."

these are the similar words i keep hearing from
people i know.

but as i said, i'm a "little" terrified.

a little.

but ofcourse, its scary.

quiting your job and paint.

"heh, paint."

especially when you quit even before you
find a new one.

but this is MORE than just painting.

this is about LIFE. and taking charge of it.

like a birthday gift to yrself.

a one month treat of doing the things
you like most.

and i love to be an artist.

and therefore i am.

for this month.

and hopefully, my further years to come.

hope you all will enjoy my run this month.





Sunday, July 30, 2006

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

confused yet logical. sad but true.

warning: the following post are not suitable
for kids nor the easily influenced mind.

had a conversation with this 27 year old
editor. heard his views on life, career,
and relationships.

he visits the whore house occasionally.
his reasons sounded really logical and
understandable. he never had a relationship.
nor planning to have one soon either. is not
that he can't, is that he won't. yet.

overall, he doesn't believe in real love.
he only believe in materials and a living
companion. his criteria of companion are
not necessary to be beautiful. just as long
care is given among each other once in awhile,
that’ll do. and he also rather prefer of her to
love him more than he loves her.

beautiful chicks? you can always go to the nearest
whore house and you'll find a bunch of them.
so, why sweat of finding the perfect one as wife?
why get frustrated everytime you see a beautiful
girl only wishing that the guy next to her was you?
why cry over the beautiful girl who just broke up
with you? you can always find a similar one to her or
with a even better criteria just round the block.
and its not even that expensive. he even guarantees
that after a few visits, all yr love-heart-aches
will go away.

most guys does it anyway. even the good looking ones.
don't believe me? i'll bet with you 8 out
10 guy's passport has a sudden visit to Thailand.

want a wife, eh?
just go out there, despise how they look,
care for them, so that they will care for you,
and that's it. your life is set.

sex is just sex. companion is just a companion.

why worry so much?

let's get real, everyone wants to fuck the
best thing. and preferably some varieties to it.

his plan sound perfectly logical and reasonable.
except with a flaw.

real love.

but what is it anyway this so-called real love?

and i always hear them say, that the one you
always end up getting married to, is not the
one you love most.

then why bother getting married? or
even bother falling into real love at the first
place? in the end, you'll get heart broken

the conspiracy behind real love is actually
"romance". setup a few romantic event/scene
and you'll get "real love". romance also
defines sex by the way. and you'll get all
the romance you want in the whore house.
i think the problem with us is that we're
film production people.

anyway, his conclusion was, get married to someone
who clicks with you, not someone you love,
or you think you love.

and currently, he has this good female friend
who don't mind him going to the whore house,
who even advise him to stop goin.

i told him that she sound like your future
companion. and he just smiled.

and i do think that most wife knows of their
husband's naughty habit aswell.
heck, i even heard tons of stories of female
cheating on their male partners.

so what's stopping you? religion? God forbids?
now, what if God doesn't exist? or your wife
don't mind, cause she understands that its
particular normal?

overall, i felt convinced yet something wasn't
right. it sounded logical of separating sex
away from companionship. i think deep down everyone
wants that, right? imagine this, yr wife gives
you greenlight to fuck Victoria if only you give
her the greenlight to fuck David.


we ended our conversation of him saying
that he'll give me a ring if he visits
the whorehouse next time.

what, you think throughout the whole conversation,
i did not share with him my love story?


Tuesday, July 11, 2006

lane = give or take?

funny, how simple things in life
could teach you about yrself.

1 road. 2 lanes. both ends into 1 lane.
the right lane closes into the left one.
and jams occurred due to that.
its obvious, the cars at the left lane
are the ones who are going straight,
so, no bother slipping between cars
just to squeeze through the road.
and the cars at the right lane are
the ones simply takin its turn to cut through
the left lane.

2 lanes are equally jammed. you'll
see each car takes its turn. left, then right.
then left, then right. like an understanding
of, let's say that you're at the left lane,
and the car infront of you drives straight
without letting the cars at the right lane
to cut through. and logically, you should
let the next car at yr right to drive through.
and the car behind you previously, shall
just drive through. and so, the process
goes on and on. give, take, give, take.

its also obvious that the left lane-queues
tend to be a little longer compared
to the right lane.

if you look closely at this scenario,
the left ones are the ones "givin" the right
lane to cross. they are either lazy to cut
through cars or they are just very "givin" people.
and the right ones are the ones "takin".
they probably are more efficient people,
but they are also the more selfish-ego people.

i drive through this road everyday.
and i realize i mostly "take", instead of
"givin." i'm ashame of myself.