Sunday, December 24, 2006

merry 'o merry.

mene, mene tekel, parsin.
- Daniel 5:25

Merry Christmas to all.


Wednesday, December 13, 2006


do you feel the pain?

i feel it sometimes.

when its dark.

when everything really literally feel like "fades".

everything fades.

and you enter it.

and i feel it sometimes.

that i do miss her.

is it alright? to think of her?
is it healthy to be like this?
especially you yourself feel
like its been too long.

where i keep all this?
this feels like a chest.
locked so long, it actually hurts
to see the lock rust.

i. i got to start stating "I".

yes. i miss HER.

i miss her so bad, i'm starting
to think that i'm crazy,
thinking that i am sub-consciously
miss of a person rather than
her specifically.

could it be possible?

or could it be that she
was my first, and its really
difficult to always forget
yr "firsts". especially
when its


*expressing from the movie, CINTA.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Have you forgotten?

how things fall apart,
and how they form-back,
then break into scattered-pieces again,
then you try and figure how
every pieces links and see
the final image,

the answer.

my task is to understand the answer.
the pieces of clues given.
by who? that's inclusive of the ultimate

this week has been a week filled
with pieces.

(but according to masters, every single
moment there's a piece falling upon you,
is the matter of yr brain adjusting the
time frame speed*awakening, to see it)

early of the week,
i was parkin my car.
i'm a lazy driver and i hate driving.
car doesn't fancy me. for me, a car
is just a box with 4 wheels to bring
me around. thus, i've never been too
obsessed with parking. sometimes,
you'll see cars that park bad. and
sometimes i could be that car.

but particularly, that day, i was being
particular. a funny feeling in me that
causes me to feel unsatisfactory with
the way i parked. and so i parked.
got off, and look at it. enters again.
park again. got off. stares at it again.
and then park again. it went on for a couple
of times.

finally, i was satisfied, which i personally
thought to myself, that it was exactly
the way i first parked.

anyhow, i made peace with myself and tried
to walk away from the car. i turned for a
few glances as i walk, i told myself
not to.

then, i saw the back of a girl who was
walkin in front of me. there was a construction
guy workin beside the street. as i watch the
girl walk pass him, i could see his attraction
of the girl and i thought to myself then,
this girl should be quite a good look. and so, as
a normal-average guy would do, i tried to overtake
the girl, and pretend to look back and see
how good looking she was.

and i did, and i was surprised it was a girl
i knew back in highschool. we exchange some
update info of friends and us. it was brief.

and that's one piece of clue.

and here's the second piece,
i was in a cafe, writing. the very same day.
it was getting late, i thought i pass by
the casher and greet him, since i've
been coming to this cafe so often.
as i waved to him, i couldn't help notice
that he seems very familiar. i asked for
his name, and i was surprised that i do
know him.

when i was 13, i used to work for my
uncle in a jeans factory cutting extra threads
of jeans. it was a boring job.
and this guy, who used to be a driver
for my uncle, used to invite me to
join him to deliver goods.

it was pretty cool hanging out with him.
it feels like being a cowboy.
in a truck. rock music. cigarettes.
it felt free. we would woo chicks as we drive
pass them. it was fun.

and ironically, i've been thinking about
this guy for a couple of weeks now,
and surprisingly, i bump into him.

and the funniest thing is, i've been goin to this
cafe for weeks now, and both of us didn't
even recognize each other till i greeted him
that very day.

and that was the second.

and now for the third,

back home.
a friend of mine, smsed me asking
hows the progress with my artist friend,
was he still mad at me about the newspaper
incident. i was angry at his sms, and i replied
back, stating that, there is no problem between
i and my artist friend. we're all cool. and i told
him that he shouldn't be having such negative thoughts
of i and my artist friend.

ironically, a few minutes later, my artist friend
called and stated that he wants to pull out
from 30dayartist.

i paused. i felt the energy. the force doin its work.
my first instinct was to persuade my friend to
stay. that feeling was strong. and till this very
day, my artist friend is still among us, 30dayartist.

now fourth piece, the very next day.
i was just having a casual conversation with
a fellow colleague. somehow we ended up talkin
about a korean movie. i told her i remembered
when it was shown in the cinema because that
was the very last movie and on the very same day
i broke up with my ex. and she remembered when
it was shown, because that was the very day she left
this company. we joined(she re-joined) this company
at the same time, this time.

at the very same day,
i received a call from a friend stating that
my ex wanted to have dinner with us the next day.

i rejected, because i already had plans the next day.

went back home, saw one side of a socks belong
to my ex, dangling out from the drawer.

and that was the fourth, now the firth,

the next day.

i was in a shower. i remembered my first 2 producers
that gave me my first production job and taught
me many things about production. with their lessons,
i was able to learn the local production faster.
i was fired from the company then, because of some
circumstances which i chose my art over them.

it was unavoidable.

since, i've always wanted to apologize to them
and wanted to thank them for what they have
taught me. till this very day, i still share
stories to fellow colleagues of the intense training
of only 3 months, that able to taught me so much
that i find it even hard to learn it,
in the local production of 3 years.

the very moment i first stepped into their office,
was the bench-mark of my current now obsessive-discipline
production attitude that made me from a PA, to a producer
than a director, and now a script writer, all in a 2 years period.

so, i picked up the phone and i called them.
and surprisingly they were forgiving, and
we agreed to meet up sometime to catch up
with our stories.

the fifth clue of this story is,
ironically, my this teacher-producer recently
just got intouch with his teacher on this very same
week which he also has been trying to get in touch
with for 4 years now.

and the final sixth,
a few friends came over.
got drunk. and we talked
about our past. i dig into
mine, which i thought i almost

the people in my life.
the pain, memories, sweet, happiness,
depression, negative energies, lessons,
selfishness, crying, betrayal, anger, youth,

all came back. dream. fail. dream. fail.

i felt all of them, the very moment i talked about

and i look at myself now,

i think i deserve atleast a clap for myself.

i think i do.

its been tiring and difficult.

but least, i'm here.


i'm still not certain what all these clues/pieces
are summing too. cause if you want me to look
closely of this entire month, there are atleast
more than 6 of them. through out the entire month,
i've been bumming into females that i've affection for.
conversation with some special people that able for me
to reflect of myself. destiny that leads some
potential development of relationships.
and i struggle to puzzle them altogether. and fear
that i’ve missed out the obvious ones.

and the butterflies are still increasing in numbers.

i'm not sure what its all trying to tell me.
but i'm sure certain, there is atleast something
out there, and it is certainly telling me something.

let's hope that its not signaling that my time is almost up,

cause it feels like only the beginning.

(of an end?)



Monday, November 13, 2006

Diari Seorang Lelaki (heh, how ironic..)

Diari Seorang Lelaki - Pretty Ugly (2006)

Dari semalam kutunggu
Fikir kau pulang ke pangkuanku
Kudengarkan lagu cinta
Pilihan terbaik kita

Kumainkan CD berulang
Lupakan segala ucapan
Perpisahan yang kau pinta

Benar dikau kucinta
Setiap detik kupuja
Kau sering perhatiku
Sambil belai rambutmu
Tak ingin aku lupa
Kenangan yang tercipta
Berikan aku diari kutulis setiap hari

Terjaga dari tidurku
Terima panggilan dari jauh
Katakan saja kau rindu
Setahun kuhilang arah
Kutempahkan tiket sehala
Malam ini kitakan bertemu
Tunggu dibawah lampu

Bercinta bersatu
Bagai Adam dan Hawa
Bergaduh seksa buat kita sempurna
Janganlah dipendam luahkan perasaan
Tiada benci dihati itulah destinasi

As translated to English by me,
back when i was studying the song.
not responsible for non-acuracy. :)

From yesterday night i waited
Thinking that you would come to me
I listened to love songs
of our favourite choices

I played the CD over and over again
Hoping to forget all those words
of breaking up that you wanted

Did i really loved you
of the every moment that i had workshipped
You always look at me
as i brushes your hair
I wish not to forget
those memories that had been created
Give me a diary and i'll write it everyday.

I woke up from my sleep
Receiving a long distance call from you
saying that you miss me
For a year, i've lost my way
I'll buy a one-way ticket
and tonight, we shall meet
Wait under the streetlights

Being in love, Being as One
Like Adam and Eve
Arguing and fighting make us better
Don't supress your feelings and express it out
No hatred in our hearts and that is our destination.

My concept:
(directed according of my interpreting
of the original lyrics)

a guy who still can't get
over his ex after a year.
lives alone in the forest.
middle of nowhere. with a sofa.
old tv. and a diary.
as he writes down everyday of his pain,
he imagines himself in the tv,
doin a duet with him of the song.
and then friends popped-out
of nowhere to jam with him.
his imagination and depression
goes extreme when he imagines his
ex-calling him to reunite.
then sees her appearing out
of nowhere. then kids. singing
along with him.

it ends with, him being alone again.
with the diary. and no one else.
and tv switches off itself.


note:i added the comic-bubbles as requested
by my boss who was afraid that some audience
couldn't understand my concept
and hoping that the comic-bubble could give a hint
to them.

i agree.

i couldn't either.
not right after i finished it.

the force? or my craziness is topping?


Thursday, October 26, 2006


imagine this.

you visit your favorite
search engine site.

as usual, you will notice
that very web-banner promoting
something, with a cut-out effect
picture of someone that you always
feel looked a little like you.
but you thought, with that kind
of photoshop-cut-out effect,
any picture of a person with
that similar hair or glasses
bound to look alike.

you ignore the banner.
thinking that its merely
a coincidence that the picture
look a little like you.

as time goes by. you
see that very same banner
for months. and you really
starting to feel that it
really does look like you.
and you can't help to
think, why aren't yr other
friends noticing this.
why hasn't anyone ask,
"hey, how much did they
pay you for that picture.
must be alot, huh?"

eventhough, it wasn't you,
you just can't help knowing,
that no one agrees that the picture
does look like you.

and so you confront them.

surprised. you confront another.

then another.

then another.

you suddenly feel a cold-chill inside
your stomach.

every single person you asked,
replied the same.

"i thought that picture look
like me."

even the fat ones, thin ones,
girl, boy, old, young,

answered the same.

you find that odd?

and so you research.

and you are surprised how
technology had grown even
without ourselves knowing it.

all monitors could receive

a similar signal that your eye
receives, then translated
into your brain.

the monitor receives
that signal.
the signal of seeing you
and the entire room of yours.
while you changed. eat. sleep.
while you doing things that
you wish no public would see.

and that is the future.

pls make sure that you are ready

when the day comes.



Friday, September 29, 2006

paranoia-disable-humanbeing in a shell.

a friend once sang to me in
a car on a moonlighting night,

"with enough cold heart,
i cast myself outside."

a few months later,
i and her lost in touch.

everytime i hear that song,
it reminds me of her,
and i would understand,
how she felt,

these days, i find it hard
to fall inside the game all over again.
i can't seem to be myself.
and i can't seem to show myself.

its like a shell.
which i can't break outside.
and yet, i also didn't want to.

it's a shell that i've build these 2 years.

its a strong shell.

its a very protective shell.

i randomly seen other people.
some really great people.
but my shell was too strong.
i stepped back many times.
i let things get dry.

and i became dry.

then, i met someone when i least
expect so.

funny, you'll only know how deep
the cut and scar is when you meet
this someone new again and you still
hear voices telling you, no.

i'm sad for myself today that
i suffer paranoia of people
around me.

and sometimes, i even
scare them off. before, i'm able
to show my true potential to them,
they have already fled of my extreme

i do understand the back-end psychology
explanation of my problem, but,
its a kind of disease that i have
no strength/will to overcome/cure.

and every single time my friends advise me
of my paranoia,
i feel like a disable humanbeing
of not capable of doing anything about it.

i'm not trying to self-pity myself,
neither make anyone to feel sad for me.

i just don't want my chance to go
away again.

its never great to feel like a disable.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

26th Sept 2006

Get your ego out of the way --
give it a mighty push if you have to.
Real love isn't about what the other
person can bring to your life --
it's about the sense of intrinsic
connection that goes beyond surfaces.

Sunday, September 24, 2006


the if/is formula/theory.

i remembered, 2 years back.
i was actually sitting
in front of this very
computer, typing in the
yahoo search engine field,

"how do you forget your ex?"

and i would spend hours
reading the free-help-forums
out there.

i even found a few couple
of good porn sites with that
search field i typed. heh.

but seriously, back then,
there wasn't really any real-help
in the internet. all the advises
was very "western", if
you all know what i mean.

there wasn't any real-effective
solutions there. especially for
an extremely old-fashioned-sensitive
asian boy.

and i believe,
there are people out there at
this very moment, are still lookin
for help, in the internet.

and i guess, this is why i'm here.
and i guess, this is why we are all here now.
and how you have typed that very
same search-field and somehow leads you

you. me. we.

we all need help.

and we want to help.

its natural right?

simple logic.


"how do you forget your ex."

or simply,

how do you forget someone.

with the "if/is formula/theory!

how it works?


sit down, boys and girls,
and i'll guide all of you.

think of that person.
then, try and recall the feeling when
you were in a class.
back when we were all younger-simpler-happier.
imagine a school-green board
next to him/her.
now, zoom in to the board.

now, imagine the board is
written-divided into
2 columns, with a straight
chalk-line in between of the whole board.

the left column written, "if".

the other column, "is".

state the "ifs" scenario
of you and that person,
that will please you.


she loves me.

he will come back to me again.

we will be together again.

*state as many as you can.

then, on the "is",
state the real-current scenario
of you and that person.
the honest-true-negative/positive
scenario of you and that person.
or maybe, more effectively,
state down the negative things
the person say/do/notdoing things
to you.


she flew away without even saying goodbye.

his not replying me eventhough
i've shown obvious-signs that i love him.

we have only spoken 1 word for many years now.

*state as many as you can.

step back from the board.
close your eyes and breath.
inhale. exhale.

slowly open your eyes.
look at the board wholly.
do not allow your eyes
to focus either one of the
columns. look at whole
board as a single entity.
look at the white-chalk
writings as a whole.

when you successful doing
that. slowly focus
on the "is" column.
read through all the sentences
that you wrote.
accept it. then feel it.
its ok, if you have to
close your eyes doin it.

its hard. but its the truth.
breath. when you feel
more comfortable and able
to read through the sentences
smoothly, slowly move your
focus to the "ifs" column.

read through them.

funny, huh?

that's how funny we humans are.

i believe everyone of you
will know what to do now.



p/s:if you find this post is a load
of crap, i'm deeply sorry that i've wasted
your last 5 minutes which seems
to be forever.

or maybe you find this useful
and brilliantly written,
pls do go to our main website
and click on the paypal button

thank you.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

ideas for sale! but we'll give them free first!

its been awhile since my last post.

lots of thoughts and ideas running
in my head. every single new one i
have, i told myself, that it can wait.
it'll still be in my head anyway, i thought.

next, day.



but, not this one. now.
i had to write about this.

2am. heard my mom laughing
in her room since, maybe 9.30pm?

i never heard her laugh that crazily
for a very long time.

as usual, i was havin a daily routine
of preparing myself
a bottle of water that would last me the
entire night while drowning myself on my
collections of dvds.
and imagine how surprised i was, 2am,
as i walk pass her room,
i heard her laughed.

then, i was in my room.
as i close my room
door, i heard her laughed again.
and this time, i'm talkin about
a 2 closed-room-door with a 50 meter gapped-away.
and if i'm not mistaken, my dvd was
still playin at that time.
on a moderate volume of course.


but anyway,

i heard her laugh.

but i knew what she was doin.
she was probably watchin a new
HK chinese series my sister
downloaded from the internet.

i was thinkin, this show must be
really good. i used to have an addiction
for these HK series. so heavily-addicted,
i think somehow it inflicted some negative-incidents
in my life that resulted where i am now.
thinkin that it was the core of my strucken-fate,
i decide not to watch these
addictive HK series ever again.

and so, i knock the door,
walk in, saw my mom and sis
laying on the bed, tuck-in
comfortly in their bedsheets,
while watching, indeed a HK series,
on my sis's laptop. my mom was still
laughin then. i can't help laughin even
not knowin what she was laughing about.
i really haven't heard her
laughing so happily for a very long

and i was happy.

i reminded my sis to leave
the HK series a copy behind.
she nods.
it'll be another year till i'll
see her again.

you see, ladies and gentleman,
this is why i want to tell stories.
it doesn't matter if its in the format of
films, musics, comics or paintings.
all i want to, and will ever only do,
is to tell stories.
stories to thank people.
stories to tell/realize people why
that we should thank them.

to thank my sis and the HK series
production people.

with my deepest-heart-of-thankfulness
and great respect,

i bow/salute to you all.

(japan style.)



if you find this post is a load
of crap, i'm deeply sorry that i've wasted
your last 5 minutes which seems
to be forever.

or maybe you find this useful
and brilliantly written,
pls do not hesitate to vist our main website
and click on the paypal button heartfully.

sadly, in the real world,
we need money in able for
an idea to grow bigger.

companies need money.
families need money.

and also sadly, it takes
a very hard-long-poor road
in able for an artist to
be successful.

and to make this even more
sad, in this realworld,
when you are workin on
a job which you don't like
but pays well, your art
ambition will slowly-quietly,
fade away.

and as i said,
in this real world that we're living today,
requires money.
a company needs money,
a family needs money.

an idea also needs,


and we're riskin being poor
now by doing something
which we really like,


but again, i repeat,
ideas need money.

and therefore we are
asking for your kind
donations on fueling
a dream.

what dream, you say?

a me and you dream.
a dream of creating the
free-happy-world where
everyone gets to decide
what they really want to do
in life.

the utopia.

a no-financial-tied world.

in the end of the day,
deep down the pits of our
evil-greedy-heart, our soul
just want to be happy, rite?


so please gamble on us
on fulfilling that dream, yah?

or not, just go support some any-other
artist will ya, you Scrooge?!?

and i don't believe
"donation" is a sensitive word either.
honestly, i don't even find
that begging is a disgraceful

even sihardta gautama practice
begging before receiving Buddha.

and trust me, when you had
reached to a level of begging,
you definitely will learn.


and so,

there you go.





Friday, September 01, 2006

Introduction for the next 30dayartist

Hey, guys, check out the

this is one of my earliest demo.
dating like 6 years back.
with noisy-ambience,
lo-fi recording, out of tuned-piano,
you know, the kind of improvisation
art-farty music kind of thing.

some friends would ask for
a listen first, then only
decide whether they want to
buy. some even had the skeptic
look after seeing the
lazily-like-doodle-cover and say,
"wah, what type of music, huh?
give me free lar."
i literally had to beg friends
to just check it out and ask for

i showed Ming and he goes,
"the design looks good."
he paid me and bought a copy.

he even ended up using the
design for his namecard then.

his attitude of believing in
talents. not only his own
but other people aswell is something
which many of us rarely have these days,
due to the greedy-competitive world
out there.

that is his gift to everyone.
a coach of life.

if it wasn't for this guy,
i would still be a skeptic
of my own ability.

his the one who encourage
me to "just do it and write"
attitude when i compared myself
to good writers/artists out there.

there are just too many
good/talented people out
there for you to even start comparing,
so why not just start and express
yrself freely? today!

i read once in Deepak Chopra’s
book stating something like,
the past are history for us to learn,
the future is a mystery to us,
the present is a gift to us,
that is why its call “present.”

this i very much learn from him,
cause he was the one who pass me
my very first Deepak Chopra’s book.

back when i just started blogging,
i only had round 15 hits.
and he would call me and tell me,
"good stuff. 15 hits, man!"

his sincere enthusiasm and
hype for other people,
would get you believing
in yrself even more
and strive even further.

sometimes i would still be a negative-prune
and lay out my negatives cards towards him,
and he would take it, analyze it,
and come back with even more
positiveness to get you all hyped up
all over again.

this guy just won't giveup
if he really believes in something.

its not an issue of whether you
are good or not. its the matter
of wanting to do it and believing
that you can.

the result is the bonus.
the journey is "THE" experience.

the world is turnin too much into
a lonely piece of land with many
single entity striving to survive.
if survival's the case, isn't it
better if we try to survive it

then, maybe life wouldn't be so much
of a survival, but, a revival.

all we need are just encouragement
from one another. a connection.
a rainbow connection.

and then just maybe, there is still
hope in this world. and hope is
something very scary to lose.

how hard can it be just to
tell someone that you feel that
they are decently good, good?

i think i've stressed this out
last year before,
everybody needs atleast an artist friend.

someone to push you.
someone to tell you to "just do it."
someone who is an artist themselves
that would understand another artist's
feelings, passion, crisis, and beliefs.

but you will never have that kind
of friend, if you don't start believing
in other people's talent rather than
yourself only.

back in the Socrates days,
artist/philosopher would gather
around the town center and
debate/discuss about life with
an open-mind. a circle-connection
of thoughts would be bond.

we need more open-minded artist today!
or people for that matter.
who doesn't feel jealous
of one another.
who doesn't holdback or
keep silence of appraisals.

we need to create that connection

if it wasn't for him,
wouldn't have exist.
wasn't for him i would
have sway all the way to
the dark side and never return.
(well, sometimes i still do.
i'm confused of the white and
black differences.)

he once asked me,
"what is 30dayartist is about again?"

i answered bluntly, "life. death. believe. and hope."

i shall rephrase that again, today, here,

"30dayartist is the result of his strong
believes in other people."

we are commonly taught in life
to believe in ourselves,
but today, lets enhance that and
start believin in other people aswell.

we all need more artist friends
like Ming.

and he too need friends.

encouraging friends.

when i say friends, i mean

encouragements are fuel to soul.

don't hold up yr praises and comments.

let them come.

matters not if its positive
or negative. this boy can take it.

look, how hard can it be?
if you feel that its good,
just click "comment".
type "good." click. and,

may our bond began today.

over to you now, ming.

have fun.


p/s:sorry for the long intro.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Day 30

Updated: Do You Know Day 16
has some weirdness in it?
Stare at the devil and you'll
notice something.

Dear all,

it is finished.

Please click on the FINALE
button up there first to view the
final work before reading the
following words:

what is the Boy who Loved Clouds
is about?

its about winning, then losing,
then winning again. finally,
we learn that it doesn't matter.
its about karma. its about Faith.
its about power of thoughts.
its about love. its about powers.
its about good and evil.

finally, its about hopes and dreams.
the rainbow connection!

i'll be sending the book to
local publisher to see anyone
interested to print it.

will be sending emails to galleries
hopin to get a show.

i've made it.

ups and downs.

40 paintings in 30days!

hooray! again!

if you've finished reading
the Boy who Loved Clouds,
i would like to thank you.
did you miss the song?
you probably didn't turn
on yr speakers.

sorry, for the bad sentences,
grammar and spelling. i rush
that out in 2 days.

i have no intention of
painting a story sequence when
i started my this year's run.

i didn't even see myself doin
the run all over again.

but life is weird.
you'll never know.

a week before i started
my run, i was in a bookshop.
i found a book on haiku.
i was fascinated of how
3 sentence poem could
create so much depth.

so, i had the idea of
naming my paintings in

the first painting was
randomly painted.
even random haikus.
second day was too.
then on the third, i saw
the flow of the first 2 days.
then i thought,
hey, why not? a story.

and i only had that.
a story. just a thought.
no plot. no drafts.
just random ideas
with a main reminder to
myself, that there will
be a story within these
paintings. and the haiku
are dialogues of the
characters in the painting.

i was havin fun. cause
i myself was lookin forward
of what was gonna happen next
within the paintings.

i didn't know what new
characters will be appearing.
i didn't know whether was
this story gonna turn out
positive. all i know, is
that i'll let the force do
its own work.

i'm merely a tool.
an executioner.
i execute the paintings.
the ideas just flows in.

i simply just believed that
i could. and on day one i told
myself, day 30 is juut a blink
of an eye.

and i blink.
and it was still day 1.

i remembered how days felt
like years. sometimes days
felt like seconds.

and now, i'm here.

to keep you less bored, i'll
show you some behind scenes.

first, the sketch book:

second, the space:



now, here are the important list
of people i would like to thank.

firstly, MR ???? i haven't got yr
name from my artist friend. thank you
so much for purchasing my last year's
painting. you gave me the confidence
and hope that they are actually people
out there that would buy my stuff.
and with the cash, i eventually
was able to finance myself painting

my brother, chinkeong, for loaning me
the whole room. and for believing
in my paintings.

my sister, voonchek, for loaning
her room to my brother.

mom, for the daily food support
and the interest of looking at my

dad, for not stopping me.

i-ming, for still stickin
up with my negativism and maintaining
well of

andrik for the camera.
and occasion visits.

keeli for the camera that's
without a card.

friends who commented.

people who commented.

the 30 mysterious daily visitor.

cziplee and nanyang penang for
the special discounted art materials.

my final words to all of you,
and please please do remember all time,

love and hope prevails.

(i think)

now, wish me luck in my
film production career.

till then.


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Day 29

don't worry. its just a parody.

anyway, here's the last painting:


nah, just fuckin around with ya.
still savin the last one for
tomorrow's special surprise!

here's a shoe story.
i needed a new pair of shoes.
i wore the old pair for almost 7years.
i had problem finding a new pair that i fancy.
so, one time i was land faraway.
saw a pair that i thought was pretty ok.
size 8half was my size. but it felt pretty tight,
so i bought size 9 instead. and it was
pretty cheap buying especially from this
land faraway from my own.

came back. it felt loose.
been trying to find people to
buy my this new pair of shoes
that doesn't fit.

mom even say, "why you go buy
a same pair of shoes?"

then i only realize i bought
back a similar design to my old shoes.

there's lessons to learn everywhere
of our daily action.

i've learned more of myself in this shoe scenario.

anyway, just finished compiling/producing
my dvd reel which i'll be sending them
out once i'm done here.

and heres another story of findin jobs.
saw an ad of job vacancy selling cds.
thought of one of my bestfriend who was lookin
for a job. gave him the tel no. he got the job.
on his first day, he found a job application
form, surprisingly filled up by a person
who shares the same name as mine. my best
friend curiously took down his name and
contact no. and gave it to me. the dude's
address was "Jalan Sahabat" * Goodfriends Road.
curious of how this dude is similar to me
besides the name, i called him pretending
to be a job hirer. his 30+ no education
qualification. has problem lookin for a job.

ironically, then, i was at my mist of decidin to
quit my previous job.

wish me luck of getting a new job soon.

for those who have been stickin around
long enough to know me and what
type of job i'm looking for, and
if you got/know one, do let me know.

check out the packagin, man!
think i miss my black and white

now, where did i leave them...

anyway, i'll give you more
clues of tomorrow's post/painting.

the clues,
are in today's post and song.


till tomorrow,

for the grand finale!


p/s:think i'm getting a fever....

Appleseed Cast - A Dream of Us
cause what i feel inside
i dont want to hide
it's you that got to me
its what i want to sing
cause i've got a dream for us
running through my mind
sitting on the beach
looking at the sea
and we're old and tired
and time has made us smile
as we go on counting things
people in the breeze
we're not the only ones
there's hundreds on the shore
looking at the sea
but it's just you and me
if the day never comes
i sink beneath the tide
will you still be with me
or disappear?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Day 28

*Updated more designs of the tees.

this mag will be publish soon.
i wish.

yesterday, i look everywhere
for the piece of paper
where i wrote down the
name of that particular

weirdly, this mornin
when i woke up,
the piece of paper
was just outside
my room, on the floor.

weird, huh?

is like asthough there's
some invisible beings helpin
me. anyway, the designer's
name is Genevieve Gauckler.

see how similar the design
is to the character i was
given to animate.
Malaysia mah. copy here
then copy there. everybody happy.

anyway, for today just so
you all won't get too bored of
my ramblings, here's some t-shirts
i and my brother planning to
print. due to lack of funds we
could only afford to print round
5 designs.

we would really appreciate it,
if you all could help us pick
yr fav 5.

just enter the no. in the comment box.

and here are they:

please help.

if the plan goes well,
we'll give away some tees to the
one who helped us today.

pls leave yr email for
future references.



Sunday, August 27, 2006

Day 27


a week before i resigned, i was given
a task to produce a commercial. i was
asked to find a director. i looked
at the storyboard and thought to myself,
i can do this.

this opportunity i felt, was meant for me.
the animation was simple. i know animation.
hours of episodes of anime finally gonna pay-off.
the shots were easy. besides, its a local client.
what better commercial to start off with for a
young new director like me?

it was perfect. it was for me.

and so, with my greatest confidence(which i rarely have),
i proposed to my production head that
i could do it. i convinced him that i could
pull-off the animatics in just 2 days.

and he said,"go ahead."

and i did. i spent my weekend borrowing my friend's
DVcam and shot some footages. i didn't had a permit
to shoot, thus came the security guard who wanted to
confiscate my camera. i told him of my situation, and
beg him of mercy to spare my life.
he took pity on me and let me go.
went back home. cut it. animated it.
the next thing i know, it was already Monday morning.
just in time for work. i gave myself a good pat behind.

as i was driving to work. the mornin radio dj
was being a little irritating(or maybe i was just
grumpy due to no sleep.) by repeating the name of a
girl-group which i never heard of till then,
"pussy cat dolls. pussy cat dolls."

and i was like, "what the fuck? pussy cat---"
before i could finish grumbling the group's name,
a dead orange cat was already laying in the middle of
the road.

that was my first omen.

i reached the office. i showed my animatics
to my production head. he liked it, but..

"i'm sorry. the client is lookin for a more
experience director."

and that's life.

2nd part of the story.

then, i was asked to scan some storyboards because
no one else would do it.
i thought i've paid my dues of scanning for people
for the first 2 years of my career.
but still, i scan anyway. and with just the stroke of my
luck, the scanner was givin me problem. it turns off
by itself everytime i'm half scanning a page.

i moved to another pc. which has a scanner. but
without the driver files. i surf the web and downloaded
them. then, the files weren't workin properly.
it took me a few shouts and bangs of the keyboard
and assistant from my head to finally
configure the scanner.

as i struggle to keep myself awake,
i finally get to scan the pages smoothly.
and i'm sure most of you do know how boring
scanning can be. you get pretty restless
as the scanner do its thing.

and to ease my frustrating mind,
i sang my all-time-favourite song which
i made up back in my scanning days. a song
with the tune of Lou Reed's Perfect day.

"i'm a scanner boy. scanning my life away.
oh, i'm a scanner boy. scanning everyday.
but not today!" (i wish)

minutes felts like hours. as soon as i was done,
i quickly gave the files to my production head,
and told him that i need to go back and sleep.

as i left the office, i pray that i'll
never be given any scanning chores ever

while i was leaving, i saw a colleague of mine
reading a book. as usual, i get a little
busybody of what people reads, and so,
i asked to have a browse-through.

and the backcover of the book reads

"are you a scanner?".

my eyes widen. i flip to the front
cover of the book.

"what i want to do, when i want to do everything."

apparently, this book is about
people who has many talents in many
things and they are cursed to have a
greed of wanting to do everything.

aka. scanner.

one word. SyncroDestiny.
(but that sounds like 2.)


i'll leave the rest to yr imagination.


p/s:and sorry, no painting today.
but heres the animatics i did in
one fuckin day. hooray!

pls do note that i only did the
shots and animatics. due to lack
of time, i used my own voice
for the soundeffects. character
design is not by me. i repeat,
NOT BY ME. because i feel the design
is a ripoff from a reknown designer i
saw a couple years back. will update
you all when i remember who.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Day 26

How Life Can Turn
by Appleseed Cast

Out there in the yard now
playing with their dad
I’m amazed at how alike you are

See now the strangeness because
I feel so many things
all at once, it’s wonderful to see

The smiles are everywhere
the cold’s gone from the air
the sun shines as they play
my smile wont wipe away
They’re laughing at you
everything that you do
You open your arms to them
they run in to tackle you…

it’s so good to see you now
and times been good to you
it just so amazing
your smile is shining through
Amazing how life can turn
one day to the next you know
I’ll figure out where I am
and figure which way to go.

days does pass.
and time does change.
my, its day 26 already?
and one more painting to go.
which i'll be saving it
till day 30 along
with a special surprise.

so whats in for the comin days?
just wait and see.

till then.


Friday, August 25, 2006

Day 25

sigh. 5 more days.
comments are pretty cold lately, huh?
guess my work doesn't draw much to

well, i guess probably the hype has gone

but don't stop now, my friends!
the end is almost near.
spread the word!

anyway, was researching on Philosopher's Stone.
found a few pretty brain-trigging websites.
do check these sites out if you feel like
knowing things that could just fuck yr brain up.
i'm feeling quite scared to even share it now.
visit at yr own risk!

one advise to painters out there,
do not check out other people's artwork
if you are currently doin some artwork
movement like this. i feel a little
low-esteem after seeing some great work
out there. i feel all mine are crappy.
ugly. Amateur. wannabe.

i mean, look at this:

pretty good huh? nope, its not mine.
i wish it was.
its the album cover of Mogwai's latest
album, Mr Beast.
simple technique.
hardly any renderings.
is the composition, man.
and i feel my composition sucks.

it really could bring down yr work's
quality afterawhile feelin like this.
the oomph is lessen somehow.

after struggling for hours and hours,
layers after layers,
i'm able to come up with these:

hope its not too crappy for you all.

anyway, for today's song i dedicate
it to a friend who thinks he had
angels helping him yesterday.
its not important if he was right
or wrong. what's important is
that all of us should always have,
believe and faith.
and also an optimistic mind
towards whatever crisis befalls on us.

try atleast.

anyway, wanted to share this
song for awhile now but couldn't
find the perfect time.

guess, now is.

A Song For The Angels
by Great Lake Swimmers
Taken from the Album Bodies & Minds
(highly recommended spiritual album)

The echo to your yell
the ripple to your dive
the currents under your wave

flows through me
i send it out to you
we were charged
with the founding poles
of a million years
a million years
before us
have trembled in their fears

never saw you never heard you
but i knew that you where there
i could feel you all around me

i know that i am just a grain of sand
meeting water at the land
we could make our castles here
and sweep them all away

i know that i am just a drop of water
frozen into ice on the stormy earth
who gave us birth
over and over in cycles
lovely cycles

never saw you never heard you
but i knew that you were there
i could feel you all around me

never saw you never heard you
but i knew that you were there
i could feel you all around me

till then.