dark long road.

i took a wrong turn in the highway.
i ended up in a dark-long-road.
endless. there wasn't a u-turn to be found.

i panic. angry. scared. really scared.
never been so scared.
afraid that i might end up somewhere far.

all way through, i wasn hoping for a u-turn.
it felt like death.
i felt alone.

i drove slowly.
i never felt so alone ever before.
so dark. so long.
my phone bat was almost dying.
i've been lost before.
but never with my phone dead.

i get paranoid easily.

insecure?

maybe.

i drove. and i drove.
35km.

that's far.
i cursed upon myself for
taking a wrong turn.

welcome to Malaysia highway.
not sure 'bout other country's highway,
but once you make a wrong road,
it'll take you forever to get back to
where you begin.

i paid a RM5 toll.
i cursed again.

drove almost an hour.
realized i was heading for Genting Highlands.
i never went up to the cold mountain
alone before.
never.

dark road. large trucks drove pass me.
curvy-hill turns.

paranoia of imagination.
earlier in the morning, mom reminded
me to change the tires.
thank God i had petrol.
no petrol. phone dead.
not a nice imagination.

i tried focusing on the road.
still keep tracking of a u-turn.
doesn't look like one is gonna turn up
anytime soon.

dark. really dark.

radio was my only friend.
but my car radio antenna is a little fucked.
radio waves noise. cross radio stations.

a deejay was listening to a love problem
from a young female caller.
the caller was still deeply inlove with
her ex, who has fallen for another.
the deejay was irritated by the caller's
persistent of wanting the ex back.

he hangs up.

i agreed with him.

i was the caller once.

awhile later, the road split into 2.
i made my decision.
alas, a u-turn.
i quickly turn.
and i was glad to see a road sign
infront of me that says
"Kuala Lumpur - 35km"

yeah!

found the toll.
paid another RM5.

i was glad to be back on track.
a little too glad.
a little too overwhelm with my accomplishment.

suddenly many cars was ahead.
it's 12am.

it was a roadblock.

i panic again.

the queue was long.
3 lane of cars struggled into 1.
passing policemen that waves rhythmically.

my heart beated faster and harder
as i approaches the block.

i tried to stay calm.

my turn,

....................

i'm saved!

this lesson hits me.

i jotted down this few points largely in my moleskine.

1. be humble all time.

2. keep my voice low.

3. trust no one.

4. don't lie.

i'll have to remind myself this everyday.

every fuckin day.

- chinyew