Day 275: 1 circle

am back. was away for more than a month.
didn't want to go home at first.
thought that i should stay in Jakarta
since i'm running out of funds and needed
a job, thought i should stay during the
holiday-festive season, even though jobs
were low. i wanted to be the 'standby man'.

but synchronicity leaded a call from
Malaysia, telling me that i was short-listed
for the New York film school scholarship
i applied months ago. and i had to go back
for an interview on the 9th of January.

after consideration, i took the earliest
flight back. even though the chances are
slim, but it's New York man. i'm sure
every artist in the world dreams of
visiting New York at least once.

and so i went for the interview.
don't ask me how it turned out,
i thought it was good, wasn't
sure what the committee thought
though, since it's been weeks
i haven't heard from them.

and so i stayed back Malaysia
till Chinese New Year. since
it's only corners away, and
so i stayed.

it was the best trip back.
i was inspired by many events,
even though a little disappointed moments
and heartbreaking scenarios,
but it was filled with awakening-emotional
heart warming moments that was
filled with love from friends and family.

the above was an additional reason
i didn't wanted to come home,
the attachment.

but i dare to say now,
i've not a single regret of
coming back home.
guess i've needed it.

i learned one very important thing in life,
even though that it's a little platitude;

"it is always hard to leave home."


(i even almost miss my flight!)

God knows was it even a subconscious act
of denial wanting to leave.

i phew at seconds of arriving at the
boarding gate before it closes,
paid an enormous fees to the cab
driver for breaking the law of speeding,
and ran like i've never ran before,
a speed record which i would have broken,
if only i wasn't carrying a 20kg load
of luggage.

i sweated like a pig in the plane.
made a new indonesian friend who was
sitting next to me and i guarantee
that he had felt my heat and sweat,
which i swear at least a drop of it
have landed onto his arm that
was resting on the arm-rest.

we talked about my escapade to jakarta,
he told me about his 7 years studying
and working in Germany and Czech Republic,
(fantastic women and booze!).

we talked about his family life and life of being a father.
i shared with him my experience of watching my
good friends with their family and children.

we sigh,
and i said to him, 'it is not easy.'
he replied, 'yes, it isn't.'

i wonder if he had thought that i meant either:

A. that it was not easy BEING a father and raising a kid

or

B. that it was not easy TO OBTAIN a family and a kid.


which ever it is,
i personally feel it's both,

and i begin to learn to love my father and mother
even more.


with this i share with you a song i newly discovered
during my trip back in Malaysia.



i was surprised that it was sang by a fellow Malaysian!

i've been away for almost a year,
and now i discovered that the artscene in Malaysian
have significantly improved and matured,
ALOT!

which is what i would love to talk about tomorrow,

goodnight.

-chinyew