departure

*

it's over.

i prepared/trained myself of adapting
the departure of new friends and
the adrenaline rush, even before
it was over.

i tried.

(sigh)

yet,

the detaching feels awkward and painful.

what is this, departure thing?

;

the going-away./?

the letting-go./?

the goodbyes./?

i'm easily attached.

i'm easily inspired.

easily to be passionated about.

and suddenly,

easily feel for it.

what is this "thing" that i have?

;

to think. to be specific.
to know. to like.
to affirmed. to right.

this soul that i have.

that everyone has,

the voice within.

many has forgotten.

many has not know.

but,

everyone has it.

the voice within.

the knowing.

even without asking.

heh.

i tried not to rhyme in things.

i tried not to affect anything.

am i a clean person?

it has always been about that,
don't you all think so?

being clean.

as a person.

in life.

being good.

clean heart. clean soul.

i think sometimes,

am i clean?

are you all clean?

are anywhere clean?

i was witnessing/experiencing a filmmaking process
in my country, Malaysia. we had to shot them
in various places of Kuala Lumpur.
and i realized that my city is a very dirty
country.

but i'm thankful the area that i'm living in now,
is still quite clean.

i won't tell you where. because i'm afraid
some of you might come and dirtied it.

sorry, i'm just being thankful now
that my parents had chose to live here.
and with my thankfulness, and guilt
for taking/taken it for granted,

i am sorry-but-thankful now.

selfish it is, some of you might say,

but being attentive is what-i-say.

departure.

i do not like,

and i think i never will.

....

..

....

..

....

.


.





.

ok, i do not blame you.
how can i-when it is the beauty that
you are cursed with.

of you soul.

it's clean.

and i think to myself,

am i a clean person?

*sigh*

guess, i'll use more shampoo
the next time i washes my
un-taken-care-of-hair.

but i did not invite it.

i hid myself.

but-then it showed me.

it inspired me again.

to love.

3 years/.

(and counting)

cynical.

a new word i learn/learned

in the movie "Libertine."

(johnny depp, smart-man,
of choosing scripts to play.)

"am i a cynical person?"

(ahem.)

-chinyew

*inspired from-after watching

"Libertine".

p/s: oh yes,

happy brithday,

(in order of dates)

Mal,

lisa.

and

grandma.

have i mentioned that i'm training myself
to feel thankful all the time.

i want love. and to be loved.

thank you all.

*who do you all hoped to see?*

;

and that is love.

*ending till the song "saxon shore - July 5" ends.*

*weird eyes*

July 5th is comin....

synchro?

will update you.

;)

Red House Painter starts.

i begged of you to stay,

atleast till the song ends.

or maybe-even till the entire playlist finishes,
if you really want to know me.

heh.