Day 319: It's been too long

Had an intense shoot while I was back in KL.
Synchronicity links all the star together and
everything went perfectly fine.

Told my current boss that I needed to go
home to shoot a viral for a friend. He told
me okay, and when I come back I should
test the Red Scarlet camera for him. Told
him okay.

As I walked out his room, an idea hit me,
why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

And so he flew a DP and an assistant from
Jakarta to Malaysia to shoot the viral for me.

Amazingly the DP used to live in NY for 12 years.
Perfect friendship for me to ask about NY before
I head there this Dec.

And so we shot for 3 days, a van, total 5 of us,
lots of joy, traveled the entire KL city, with
a Red Scarlet, ran away from security guards,
lost my voice, good food, drinks and a lovely
cute doberman.

The shots look amazing and definitely a plus
to my reel, and definitely gonna crack me
more gigs.

Before I flew back to Jakarta manage to catch
up with Mom, was able to see her off to Taiwan,
and she came back right before I head back to
Jakarta. Had a great meal with her, we chatted,
and she was full of joy and laughter. I'm proud
of her and she's my superhero. I know it's
strange to say this from a son, but my mom
have matured alot since I last saw her.

I spent my birthday while working.
31 this year. Am getting very much older.

Every end of a relationship seems to be an anchor
to my life. Moving on but yet the drag of the weight
is still there. But definitely moving on.

Thoughts does cross my mind sometimes,
what and why am I doing here.

So many things have change, so many things
have grown and end.

Managed to see the painting studio for one
last time. We moved our paintings out.
I remembered I lost a coupon for long distance
call 2 years ago. Thought of a plot, if I've found
it now, I would call her. At least to say Hi,
and that I miss her. Nothing more than that.

But of course, life is not a plot, nor movie.

Paintings were moved out, end of an era,
end of a chapter.

Great to see Emma, my god daughter.
She can walk now. And mumbles.
I'm sure the next time I'm back,
she'll be able to talk.

Back and forwd, that's my life now.
Taking planes like buses.
Finishing big jobs, dealing with
big bosses and clients, managing
work politics, filtering people
that doesn't matter and people
who does.

All is good, all is fine.

Started smoking again,
coughing like fuck.

Stopped running.

Keep telling myself, tomorrow is gonna be better.
Tomorrow I'll make the big bucks,
tomorrow I'll do the cool+big jobs,
tomorrow I'll find her,
tomorrow I'll give mom the big cash that she'll be proud,
tomorrow I'll have time to finish the last chapter
of I See So Many Butterflies,
tomorrow I'll be healthy again, read a book, eat healthy,
drink less coffee, less alcohol.
tomorrow she'll find me.
tomorrow.

-chinyew