hey, you... FUCK YOU!

look, i'm not fuckin catering for you here, ok?
i can say whatever fuckin thing i want.
and don't try and threaten me with yr fuckin visits.
you think i fuckin care?

THIS is what i fuckin care, ok?

anyway, (ahem)

thanks Verna for the comforting email.
unlike other positive comments, yours
contained reality and most importantly,
yr honesty. i like the true-fact where
there is no guarantee of a "better tomorrow".

i mean, ofcourse, being positive and all
is great. it helps you to move-on. don't get
me wrong, i'm not stressing on being negative here.
i'm only saying, what if, and i really mean, what if,
there is no "better tomorrow"?

you can't keep lying to yrself for the rest
of yr life that there is, can you?

i'm sure hope there is for me, and
for all of you ofcourse.

but seriously from where i'm standing,
the sun ain't coming.

anyway, these past days i've been getting this
temper in me. i get angry easily on the road.
i show my finger here and there. i sarcastically
criticize everyone for their stupidly. even
to the food stall worker. grocery, banks, etc.

i'm pissing everyone off in my office even.

i can't help it. i'm just so angry inside.
i don't want to. i just don't know how
to handle this anger in me. but, everyone's
action irritates me. their hypocrisy. their
inefficiently. their 2-face-lying-bastard.
their greed for office power.

girls. don't get me started.
i hold back, they tempt me.
i reach out, they back out.
then, i hold back again, and
they start to tempt me again.

i've had it with all this love game.

its final, and i'm gonna be fuckin
firm from now on. i'm gonna hold the
hell back all the fuckin way. stay
at home and watch my dvds. and wait
for my true love to be send by God.(phmmt..)

i mean, it could possibly be only my feelings.
probably they really only want to be friends.
well, i mean, you tell me, whats the best
way to play the safe game, not to be pissed
at them and myself?

stay in the fuckin castle!

and wait.

sigh.

well, anyway, supporting the fact with my last
post, the world's idea of love these day suck anyway.

a spit to the world, people and of course myself,

puttt--tooi!

-chinyew