Day 120: shall be it.

120 days.

it feels weird waking up
to a place that your are
not familiar, thinking
that you are still home,
'where the fuck..**'

it takes me awhile to
register and realizing,
'oh...'

i wake up and sit at the edge
of the bed and repeatedly tell myself,
'this is home now, this is home now.'

then i freshen up myself,
make breakfast and watch TV news
over it.
'this is the world.'

i usually have time to do some
running or just some basic exercise
before i head to work, walk out
and reach for a cab and smell the
horrible air.
'welcome to Jakarta.'

at work, i struggle with the language
due to how my brain is embedded with
bahasa malaysia that sound almost similar
yet significantly different from the
bahasa indonesia. colleagues laugh
and seems sincere enough to correct me,
only realizing a couple days later
from the cab driver's laughter,
that i've been tricked, worse, he said
he has no change for the fare.
they always fuckin don't have
change for the fare.
'this is indonesia.'

walked to the pub and people greeted
me by my name, welcoming me.
i ordered my usual Guinness, dinner,
and leaved a big tip afterwards.
people bids me farewell and shake
my hand asthough i just left a wedding.
'this is indonesia.'

got back to my room, shower,
do some some pull ups till
i fuckin can't feel my arms,
i die down, lay myself on bed,
look at the flat-white ceiling
and think to myself,

'this is my life now,

and shall be it.'

-chinyew