Day 21

i was born Buddhist.
influenced to believe in Christ.
work most of my life among Muslims.
i studied a little of the Bible, Quran,
Buddhism Sutra, and the indian's Gita.
i go to the church and pray.
visit the nearest temples of holiday trips.
really keen to experience the friday
prayers of the mosque.

i do not know what i believe and not believe.

but i'm 100% sure, that there is a force out
there.

i believe everything has its cause and effect.
my faith is simply believing everything
occur in my life has its reasons why.
for me to SEE.

and i believe its the greedy-evil dictatorship that
takes the innocent lives for their own profits.

i think wars are literally lives thrown away.

i think its not logical that poverty still exist
in this world today, while there are highly-developed
countries spending resources to gain MORE resources
for themselves.

i hate the choices given out to us
to decide which religion is the real religion.

i hate myself of wanting to help the world
yet i'm doin nothing.

i hate the fact that there is an ugly
side in every single one of us.

i feel its difficult to differentiate
the Good force and the Evil force.

and some even say knowledge is evil.

and indeed maybe its true.

or maybe not.

i do not know.

i'm merely a puny arrogant human
who thinks he know alot by reading
a few good books.

and i foresee my future/older self
no longer standing this path,
but blindly living a normal life.

or maybe not.

but the one thing that i'm certain of is,
once you step into the Question,
there is no turning back.

all questions start overlapping each
other. questions that leads to more
questions. answers in the form of
questions.

and ironically, i feel that this
is the answer.

-chinyew

p/s:i really feel that i'm getting
mad.