Day 18: I feel it's so hard to start again.

Ahh...
after 7 days away from the drawing table,
it is so hard to start again.

like all marathons, best not to stop
and take a break, or you'll be so lazy
to get up and run again.

Singapore wasn't much of a 'break'.
it was more work than lazing around.

it was fun but tirin like hell.
wished then that it'll end quickly.
now i wish that it never ended.

love the experience of selling my work.
love the experience of meeting someone new.
love the experience of having no hope,
then hope comes again.

((...why hasn't she write...))

i thought she had felt it when i said
that love is all the same,
and that it is the person that makes it different.

she disagreed verbally, but looking through her eyes,
i know partly of her has agreed. hiding behind that
wall of her's, she realized i saw through it.
and it is this subtle acknowledgment that we both shared,
that very moment, i felt we have connected.

I-Ming was right, the 'moment' froze into
a globe where no sound or visual penetrated
through.

it was amazing.

i had to sit down a moment to recover
my breath. felt like i just dived into
the deep sea and returned.

i sensed a little sadness in her,
and that i'm the one to save her.

it's moment like this that makes you
feel strange inside, where you thought
you already knew how it feels,
and when you actually feels it,
you only realized that you are
feeling it for the very first time.

or could this be just another episode?

i'm sure if it's real this time,
God will lead us together again.

if not, i'll just start again.

and again and again.

it's beyond my control now.

till tomorrow.

-chinyew