Day 141: Concentrate and Commitments

Had an early discussion and recce for the
feature film I'm working on.
Guess we got pretty much everything locked
down. Except, the lead guy. Sigh.

It's bloody hard to find a young and decent
actor in Malaysia.

Later at evening went to an old friend's wedding.
Christ, it's the fifth this month.
Getting really fed up of weddings.
I mean, in this century what does marriage
means? Does it mean permanence?
No relationships I realized are permanence.
I see it everywhere. Divorce. Betrayal.
The sudden change of heart.
It's so common.
And heart aching to hear.

So I couldn't help watching the entire process
of weddings with a skeptic perception.

I mean I believe in true love.
But at the same time, I'm fear
of the change of heart.

Oh-what a day.

Was still pretty traumatizing the entire day
waiting for the stats from the other side
of the world.

Anyway, after the wedding, the guys
and the groom had a heart-to-heart talk
over a very good vintage wine.
It was fun catching up sharing perspective
of relationships from different aspects; a recently
married, married and someone who had
just started a relationship. It doesn't look good.

But deep down, I'm always optimistic hoping
to find the One, someone who I can be sure
to make me feel safe, and I give the same.

At this age, frankly, how many can, and are capable
to?

I mean look at the technology and evolution
of human life, we have just too many choices.

So-yeah, what I feel is pretty contradicting.
I know it's screwed, but yet deep down I
want it to be perfect.

But there's no such thing as perfect is there?

Oh-what a day.

*burp.

-chinyew