ok, i'm admitting this.
(only via internet.)
i have attitude problem.
a long time ago, somebody read my palm,
and gave me an advise,
he said that i will have a great career
ahead, but, my emotions are my obstacles.
i'm a very emotional person.
i cry on movies that i watch.
i cried on Cinema Paradiso, The Notebook,
and many-many Korean flicks.
i can't control my emotions very well.
i get angry easily. sometimes i'm able to.
but i can explain myself.
my whole life i've been wanting to seek
truth in all things.
even people.
if i just sense a little insincere character,
i'll get very frustrated.
i get frustrated easily.
i'm trying to control this emotion problem
that i have.
are artist like that?
my mom says that i have "artist attitude problem".
i cannot agree with her more.
but is it a problem?
is it wrong for me to feel
sincerely of how i feel about things?
is it wrong for me to hate fake people?
i just got back from a retreat-session organized
by the production house that i'm workin for.
in my entire life workin experience,
this is the first(and only) company
that treat their staffs to a spa session.
we were havin great fun. unlimited food/drinks.
steamin gas/water. massage.
we were like kings.
back to my point, we had a session where
we were supposed to write about every single
person of how we feel about them.
i get comments, well, they were similar to
the palm reading i had.
i know i have that problem.
but is it really a problem?
to be critical on insincerity of things?
well, guess i'll take Alan's quote-advise
for the mean time, before i get more people
hating me.
Day 13 by Alan Gooi
"Some things you are not able to change,
But I do believe that we ourselves
are able to change.
For the better."
even though Alan did not complete his run
perfectly. but i could feel that he wanted
to, he just can't.
he did try.
and i'm goin to try.
atleast i should just keep my mouth shut.
i remember this saying,
"if you've got no better things to say, don't say."
sorry for the uncheck post.
feelin tired after the retreat.
less than 2 hours sleep last night.
i swear it's a fuckin struggle to
do this:
and 2 hours to countdown for
tomorrow's meeting.
sigh.
-chinyew
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