Day 93: sin city.

really no idea how hard it is for
me. from reminiscing the days,
and now nothing.

how does it feel for you?
it seems easy.

how you expect me to feel, seeing
of what, another person.

what is being?
that i question everyday.
how can anyone from this changes to that,
so easily. transferring feelings to
another, merely as a click.

how do you even convince the other person?
how is the other person even to trust you
of yr sincerity? i feel stupid. for believing.
even when times was obvious. i feel even fuckin
stupid now to even dwell on this. even till today.

why?

have my feelings gone so deep that i can never
withdraw it back. jakarta teaches me this.

it's a sin city here.

meanwhile i'm still resisting.

but the more i think about it,
how stupid i was, and how unfair it
was. so cruel. how much i've given
in, and been taken granted for,
i am the only fool in this
whole entire world that would
dwell so much.

it is not fair, but you can never
get such security anymore.

good luck, not being hurt,
cause you will. i know, cause reflecting
to me now, i realized the only
most stupidest ever human being in the
world to able to look through all
your flaws and still be what i am
now, and not embracing this city,
this sinful city.

jakarta.

:P

-chinyew